The 7 yr old boy, the eldest in the family, feels like he is not getting enough playing time and that I am constantly nagging at him to do his jobs. Both of these things are true but neither are things I can help. After he brought these feelings to me I thought about it for a few days then said "The amount of playing time you get each day depends entirely on your choices and actions. If you choose to do your violin straight away, and do your homework without mucking around, then you will get more playing time. It will now be your choice WHEN you do your violin and homework but you are not allowed to play or read until they are done. You can choose to lie on the floor and put off the inevitable but it is your playing time you will waste."
We started this on Monday and it went pretty well, I reminded him that he could choose when but he was not allowed to complain about how much playing time he got. On Tuesday he collided with the boundary I set and sulked for 2 hours about having a bath before dinner. Unfortunately when and if he has a bath is not up to him. Also he hopes to put things off indefinitely and just not do them at all, however I am hoping to teach him to fulfill responsibilities before having leisure time.
It is already an improvement and he can't blame me for no play time. Since it is his decision to do violin practice now, he is more proactive. I will keep it up till the end of term and then re evaluate if it is working or not.
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