Another one might be your sister is asked to go out with friends and they ask you if you would mind staying behind as there are no spare seats in the car (hypothetical but helps with my other point) If you say ok, you are left out (which you probably don't want). If you say "No I want to come" you spend the evening feeling like you ruined their night.
Another pet conversational hate that I am sure others share is "no offence but..." Also once you get upset or offended by something someone said "I was just joking" Both of these phrases mean that you are not allowed to retaliate or get upset because you would be seriously overreacting.
Helps to remember the other person is being rude in all those situations, and then try and be gracious, sort of like the burning coals. They're rudeness is not worth worrying about.
ReplyDeleteAlthough, it is a good thing to practice polite assertiveness. Expressing feelings in an objective way and all that, and not being afraid to ask in case you are rejected. Because the 3rd option with the bus seat scenario is to reasonably and graciously suggest they find another seat. That's a verbal trap for them. If they escalate their demand they won't be able to avoid openly asking for something they have no right to (which is why they were fake-polite passive aggressive about it). You don't get trapped so much when you get older, though. Partly cos you care less about bitchy girls.