Permission

I have a fear of rejection. I have had this since I was a child and I was at other people's houses and needed to ask for a drink of water. Unless I knew the person INCREDIBLY well (for example my own mother) I couldn't ask, even though it is a request no reasonable person would say no to.

This has progressed into adulthood (yes I can now ask for things like water and where the bathroom is etc.) and it makes it hard to ask permission to do things in case they say no.

IF I ask and IF they say no, then I would honour their wishes, but it has always been a temptation to just... not tell them. I can't lie, but I can Not Volunteer Information. This does NOT work because people have a way of finding out things and while they would most likely have given permission, they like to be asked. I know this because if a child wants to go into my area, I am likely to say yes if they ask and get cranky if they don't. It is a respect thing.

So why am I so unwilling to ask permission? Does anyone else have this issue or is it just me? I know that hearing a No is not that devastating, you just move on with life, especially if you were prepared for the possibility and a yes is then a surprise and a bonus.

Any thoughts?

Cats and Kids

Cats like regular, one on one attention, children like one on one attention.

Cats usually ask when you are busy, children usually ask when you are busy.

Cats like attention on their own terms, times and varieties, children like attention at times and in ways they want.

Cats give up trying if you keep saying no, children give up if you keep putting it off.

Cats know when they have had enough time and attention and leave to do something else, children know when they have had enough and are more willing to play by themselves.

With both cats and children there is no need to give in instantly every time, but if you say to a child "in 5 minutes we can play" then in 5 minutes you need to go and play. Cats are a lot less verbal but I can read Romeo's body language pretty well when he wants a snuggle, like with children you can put it off until you have finished what you need to do but if you put it off forever, your cat will become a traitor and sit on anybody else's lap for preference. Children may also go to others for the love and attention they need and this can be dangerous.

Words of dubious wisdom from a person who does not particularly like cats and who does not have her own children.

Letter writing

Most people that I talk to are very busy. These people think emails are better that letters because of many good reasons that you all know already since you apparently have internet. I can tell you have internet because you are reading my blog. I am going to shamelessly promote pen-and-paper letter writing. Huge advantages of letter writing:

Letters are something you can pick up and put down and think about what to write for a long time.

Letters can be written anywhere, and especially good place is in a car while waiting for somebody, or outside in the sun.

Letters help you think in the same way a diary does, it is a diary that a specific person is allowed to read.

Letters take so long to write (sometimes days) and a long time to get to its destination that even if you tell the recipient something you have already mentioned by phone they have probably forgotten it by now.

Letters are really nice to receive and curl up and read. My mother writes hilarious letters and I sit there in the lounge room cackling and giggling to myself while nobody else has a clue what is going on.

Letters are not information tools like emails are. Heather, my sister, wrote 6 A4 pages to me one time and the information I got was "I like my job, I moved into a house, I have a friend at work I really like and I am going to a good church and on the music team there." The rest was her hilarious waffling.

I wrote letters to people and the result was that some of these people rediscovered letter writing (and a friend made me a beanie).

I like emails too but letters are special.

Winter hands

The thing about living on a farm is there is a lot of dirt. The thing about a lot of dirt is you wash your hands a lot. The thing about washing your hands a lot in winter is that they are always cold and rarely fully dry. This leads to little shallow cracks on the sides of my forefingers and thumbs which occasionally deepen so that they bleed and hurt. These cracks also get filled with the previously mentioned dirt and sometimes blue food dye so they show up more easily.

I have asked around and the only way to get rid of these little cracks is heaps of moisturizer so I sit at night rubbing huge quantities into my hands, waiting for it to soak in, then rubbing more in. This helps prevent the deeper, painful cracks but I still have not yet gotten rid of the shallow, dirty ones.

Cleaning teeth

My mum taught us all to clean our teeth regularly. A common conversation in our house when we were little ran like this:

Mum "time to clean teeth"

Me " No I don't want to" (teeth cleaning leads instantly to bedtime, that is worth putting off where possible)

Mum "You can come and clean your teeth or you can go to bed now with furry teeth"

I would then run to clean my teeth. This was a double threat to me, firstly cleaning teeth put off bedtime for a few more minutes so it was worth it, but secondly, the idea of teeth growing fur was horrifying to me and obviously a toothbrush prevented this.

Now, as I sit here post breakfast and pre teeth cleaning, I feel utterly revolting and unclean because my mouth isn't done. For some people it is showers to feel ready, for me it is cleaning teeth.

House Work is Ecclesiastical

Anyone who has a house to look after will already know this. Mark Driscoll, in his Ecclesiastes sermon series, mentioned that housework is circular and never ending, just like the writer of Ecclesiastes says life is.

This truth, while in theory true, is not really grasped until you sweep the same floor every day and the only change is the size of the pile, wash the dishes every day and the only difference is the amount. The list goes on but it is depressing.

Housework is Ecclesiastical.