Verbal Traps and similar

There are some social and conversational patterns that I really don't like and one of these are verbal traps. A verbal trap is when somebody puts you into a position where you can't refuse. An example of this was when I was sitting on a bus to go on an excursion and two girls approached me and said "would you mind moving? only we want to sit together" What can you do? In this case it was either fold and give into their intimidation (there were other places they could sit) or refuse to move and seem like a petulant child.

Another one might be your sister is asked to go out with friends and they ask you if you would mind staying behind as there are no spare seats in the car (hypothetical but helps with my other point) If you say ok, you are left out (which you probably don't want). If you say "No I want to come" you spend the evening feeling like you ruined their night.

Another pet conversational hate that I am sure others share is "no offence but..." Also once you get upset or offended by something someone said "I was just joking" Both of these phrases mean that you are not allowed to retaliate or get upset because you would be seriously overreacting.

Cats and Kids

Cats like regular, one on one attention, children like one on one attention.

Cats usually ask when you are busy, children usually ask when you are busy.

Cats like attention on their own terms, times and varieties, children like attention at times and in ways they want.

Cats give up trying if you keep saying no, children give up if you keep putting it off.

Cats know when they have had enough time and attention and leave to do something else, children know when they have had enough and are more willing to play by themselves.

With both cats and children there is no need to give in instantly every time, but if you say to a child "in 5 minutes we can play" then in 5 minutes you need to go and play. Cats are a lot less verbal but I can read Romeo's body language pretty well when he wants a snuggle, like with children you can put it off until you have finished what you need to do but if you put it off forever, your cat will become a traitor and sit on anybody else's lap for preference. Children may also go to others for the love and attention they need and this can be dangerous.

Words of dubious wisdom from a person who does not particularly like cats and who does not have her own children.

Letter writing

Most people that I talk to are very busy. These people think emails are better that letters because of many good reasons that you all know already since you apparently have internet. I can tell you have internet because you are reading my blog. I am going to shamelessly promote pen-and-paper letter writing. Huge advantages of letter writing:

Letters are something you can pick up and put down and think about what to write for a long time.

Letters can be written anywhere, and especially good place is in a car while waiting for somebody, or outside in the sun.

Letters help you think in the same way a diary does, it is a diary that a specific person is allowed to read.

Letters take so long to write (sometimes days) and a long time to get to its destination that even if you tell the recipient something you have already mentioned by phone they have probably forgotten it by now.

Letters are really nice to receive and curl up and read. My mother writes hilarious letters and I sit there in the lounge room cackling and giggling to myself while nobody else has a clue what is going on.

Letters are not information tools like emails are. Heather, my sister, wrote 6 A4 pages to me one time and the information I got was "I like my job, I moved into a house, I have a friend at work I really like and I am going to a good church and on the music team there." The rest was her hilarious waffling.

I wrote letters to people and the result was that some of these people rediscovered letter writing (and a friend made me a beanie).

I like emails too but letters are special.

Cleaning teeth

My mum taught us all to clean our teeth regularly. A common conversation in our house when we were little ran like this:

Mum "time to clean teeth"

Me " No I don't want to" (teeth cleaning leads instantly to bedtime, that is worth putting off where possible)

Mum "You can come and clean your teeth or you can go to bed now with furry teeth"

I would then run to clean my teeth. This was a double threat to me, firstly cleaning teeth put off bedtime for a few more minutes so it was worth it, but secondly, the idea of teeth growing fur was horrifying to me and obviously a toothbrush prevented this.

Now, as I sit here post breakfast and pre teeth cleaning, I feel utterly revolting and unclean because my mouth isn't done. For some people it is showers to feel ready, for me it is cleaning teeth.