Verbal Traps and similar

There are some social and conversational patterns that I really don't like and one of these are verbal traps. A verbal trap is when somebody puts you into a position where you can't refuse. An example of this was when I was sitting on a bus to go on an excursion and two girls approached me and said "would you mind moving? only we want to sit together" What can you do? In this case it was either fold and give into their intimidation (there were other places they could sit) or refuse to move and seem like a petulant child.

Another one might be your sister is asked to go out with friends and they ask you if you would mind staying behind as there are no spare seats in the car (hypothetical but helps with my other point) If you say ok, you are left out (which you probably don't want). If you say "No I want to come" you spend the evening feeling like you ruined their night.

Another pet conversational hate that I am sure others share is "no offence but..." Also once you get upset or offended by something someone said "I was just joking" Both of these phrases mean that you are not allowed to retaliate or get upset because you would be seriously overreacting.

Permission

I have a fear of rejection. I have had this since I was a child and I was at other people's houses and needed to ask for a drink of water. Unless I knew the person INCREDIBLY well (for example my own mother) I couldn't ask, even though it is a request no reasonable person would say no to.

This has progressed into adulthood (yes I can now ask for things like water and where the bathroom is etc.) and it makes it hard to ask permission to do things in case they say no.

IF I ask and IF they say no, then I would honour their wishes, but it has always been a temptation to just... not tell them. I can't lie, but I can Not Volunteer Information. This does NOT work because people have a way of finding out things and while they would most likely have given permission, they like to be asked. I know this because if a child wants to go into my area, I am likely to say yes if they ask and get cranky if they don't. It is a respect thing.

So why am I so unwilling to ask permission? Does anyone else have this issue or is it just me? I know that hearing a No is not that devastating, you just move on with life, especially if you were prepared for the possibility and a yes is then a surprise and a bonus.

Any thoughts?

Cat Communication

Those of you who have been in the vicinity of cats for any length of time will know that cats train their humans and they have a number of commands which we obey usually unhesitatingly. The most common three are

1) FEEEEEEED MEEEEEEEE, I am STAAAAAARVING. This is both a vocal command and, if the response is not instant, rubbing against legs and generally making a nuisance of themselves.

2) Up now, let me in/out this instant! This is mainly vocal but usually includes the death stare if one does not respond quickly.

3) This is one that I did not realize even existed but it is "go and sit down or lie down somewhere so I can sleep on you." This is the most tricky to work out, it sounds and looks the same as the first commandexcept that when you go and look there is already food there. Romeo has given up the verbal bit and just falls over in front of where I am walking as seen here.

Rub foot and roll

Lay still for a moment, confident in the irritating nature of his position

Look up and say "come on, what are you waiting for?

After a hard days sleeping on a chair, he is ready for a nap on my stomach.