Operation Tiredness

So this morning I woke up before the alarm went off at ten to six. It is dark. I got dressed then went and woke up the child. He took longer to come out of sleep but once he was awake, he lay there waking up for a bit and then complaining about how much sleep he still needed then he got up and got dressed.

Because we left earlier, a bit after 6, we were able to walk all the way to the beach, and long the bike path, and back. I reckon we did about 4 kilometers in about an hour. We stopped for a biscuit break when we got hungry and when we got back, at five past seven, the child who usually can't stomach breakfast had a bowl full of mini weet-bix.

He was asleep by 9 pm last night which means he got at least 9 hours sleep.

After just one day of early wake up and lots of exercise, benefits seen are 1. Ability to eat breakfast, 2. more energy later in the day, 3. no need to hound him through the morning jobs, 4. able to go to sleep at night.

We are trialing this for 2 weeks and see if the constant physical activity wears him out too much. We will keep the morning walk going but the afternoon thing might get dropped if it proves too much for him and the rounger two.

I am really tired, I could only get up this morning by telling myself I could go back to bed after breakfast.

Getting Tired

So this morning I woke the 7 yr old up at 6am and, after some initial rejection of the idea of leaving bed and sleep to go outside for a walk, he gave in and got up. We went for about a 1/2 hour dawdle around the street to a park and back. He was not energetic at all. On the other hand, he ate breakfast and got ready for school and did piano practice and had playing time with a minimum of argument.

Then he went to school, I went swimming. When I picked him up from school, I asked his teacher how he had been and she said he was fine, he was still clearly energetic, more so then he usually is. This afternoon, after music practice, we all hopped on bikes and rode or walked to the beach. When we got there we walked along, splashed across the river outlet and climbed the rocks. Then we walked back to the bikes and rode home.

Tonight he was as energetic as ever at bed time and I am COMPLETELY stuffed. I nearly fell asleep reading to the 3 yr old. My feet are sore and I am very tired. The "getting tired" plan worked on one of us.

No Chocolate

I went to stay with my sister in Perth for a week and in that time we talked about many things. One of the things she mentioned was that consuming chocolate affects how she can deal hormones. Going off chocolate in the lead up week means that the whole process is less painful and she does not need drugs. I have also heard that it can bring on migraines in some people. She also mentioned that last year she did a "No-treats-vember" for a month in November, no lollies, chocolate, ice cream, take out or anything.

I have decided to combine these ideas and, from tomorrow the first of May, I will begin a month of no chocolate. I will tick days off the calendar that I have not had chocolate in. This will mean that firstly I will eat no chocolate (that can only be good for me) and secondly I will be able to test my sisters theory.

In June I will ideally go No chocolate and No Whatever-I-replaced-chocolate-with, because I will replace it with something. If it is fruit that I use as a replacement, I will obviously not ban that.  

Waking Up

The 7 year old here has HUGE difficulty functioning in the morning. He also has difficulty getting to sleep at night. I was thinking about this, as he was coming out of bed at 1030 pm and sleeping till 830 or later if allowed. I was thinking there are two problems here, one is he is not tired enough at night and the other is we can't get him to do anything in the morning without complaints. I thought up a plan. This plan is to help this child get physically tired so that he is tired at bed time and so he sleeps easier and quicker, thus running out of sleep earlier and waking earlier.

This plan has two parts. Firstly waking him up early and going for a walk. It is a pity it is nearly winter because it means it is dark and not remotely inviting to get up. Also there is huge potential for rain. This will help him function in the morning while getting ready for school, help him eat his breakfast since he should be hungrier for it, and be awake earlier so that he is tireder at night. 

The second part of the plan will happen after school and will involve going for a walk or ride to the beach or a park and a play that will include running and climbing and other physical activity. Swimming at the indoor pool will also be happening on days when not much else is available due to rain. This will hopefully make him physically tired so that all he wants to do at night is to sleep. 

This was my plan in Campbelltown, to make my 4 yr old charge tired enough to sleep in the day and at night. It would have fallen through if I had kept at it much longer because he was getting fit. By the time I left he could walk 3 or 4 kilometers before lunch, have a sleep, then swim for an hour. Therefore one more bonus, if we keep this up, is that we will all get fitter and able to do more things. 

Big Storm

Last night the was pretty loud wind, very heavy intermittent rain and general inability to sleep due to NOISE. This morning it turned out that we did not have the worst of it. When I left to go to church, I walked round the corner of the house and saw, at the end of the street, what looked like I trampoline. I ran back to get my camera and this is what I saw

I had heard that this could potentially happen but I did not think a coastal suburb could

Stickers of DEATH

This child likes stickers. She likes them on her clothes. It occurred to nobody (including me) to peel them off before it went through the wash. It turns out it would have been a good idea.

stickers

I bought some stickers from the all famous jetty and was going to put them on letters and things. I decided though that they were too nice to merely stick to disposable paper so I decorated my laptop with them. 

washing lines

 My pet hate with washing lines is that I seem to be taller then them. Not by much, but you don't need much to be garroted by the lines, get your hair tangled in the pegs and dong your head on the bar. 

This washing line belongs to a friend of mine and, since I have passionately disliked several washing lines in past jobs, I thought I might show you this absolutely genius one. First good point, it is under cover to prevent rain and dew issues. Second good point, it does NOT bump your head or tangle you hair because it is height adjustable. 

This clever little handle winds the ropes up so the clothes line goes up or down when desired

The other genius thing about this clothes line is that when you have hung out the washing you can wind it all the way to the roof so it is out of the way and the dog can't pull things off the line. 

 The only slightly annoying thing is that it swings about a bit while you are trying to hang out the clothes. Also the ropes have been known to fray through.

Good Friday

On Good Friday I got up early, walked to the beach and watched as actual sunrise. Th sky was clear, the water silver, the sunrise stunning and these pictures do not do it justice. I walked East in peace watching the sun rise,

 Listening to the waves crash on the shore

 And watching the ducks paddle in the ocean.

Hair cuts

Occasionally I feel that my hair is getting long, so like everybody else I take steps to make it shorter. This, for other people, would include a visit to their parents house/hairdresser/sisters/daughters house. For me it means a trip to an area with a bin, a mirror and some scissors.

My 3 year old charge was in my room at the time so I said "Your hair and scissors are NOT friends" Then I proceeded to trim my hair. I have no problems doing this myself sing it is ALWAYS tied up in some way. I have also worked out a strategy to make it approximately the same length. Grab a bit of brushed and ideally wet hair, run your fist down it until a tiny bit of hair is sticking out the bottom then cut just above your hand. Then add a bit more to the original bit and run your fist down until the short bit comes loose. Repeat for other side then work round to the back. After that it will have a few days to find the slightly longer bits and deal with them.

This system of hair cutting is one I like since it is free, convenient and I can only blame myself if it goes pear shaped. Also ultimately it will grow back. Also since I always wear it is a pony tail or similar it doesn't really matter.

Coming Back

Having not seen the children I care for for two and a half weeks, there has needed to be a brief getting to know you period. This is when we are polite and kind but distant and cautious. Is Julia the same person we remember? Will she be happy to see us? Will we get into lots of trouble?

There would also have been a degree of uncertainty about whether I was coming back. I knew I was coming back, their mother knew I was coming back (I left half my stuff here) but the children have had so many people come, stay for 3 months, then leave and a new random person arrives.

I wrote a little not to the eldest boy before I left telling him I loved him and I would come back on this particular day. Today he showed me the note, still stuck to his bed head.

Maturity

Today, I decided to be "mature" I have done this before, pretending to be a grown up, it didn't last. However, I do believe that inner maturity and outer maturity are different things.

Outer Maturity is wearing grown up clothes, walking instead of skipping, conversing instead of playing, watching a water fight instead of participating, generally acting like a grown up. There is definitely a place for all of these tendencies.

Inner Maturity is Character. Being able to forgive wrongs done, overlook accidental offenses, play when the time is right, begin water fights and enjoy laughing, being caring and listening, serving and looking after other people, being other people and God centered rather then self centered. Submitting to authority and practicing sacrificial love. Truly respecting others as image bearers of God.

Outer Maturity can be faked, Inner Maturity can't be. Outer Maturity is an image. Inner Maturity is real. This is not to say that people can't have both Inner and Outer Maturity, or neither for that matter, just that some people only have one kind and quick judgments lead astray.

An example of merely having Outer Maturity is the adult who looks grown up and behaves in a "grown up" way, but has no sense and no self control regarding life decisions and friendships. Look at teenagers who look like adults and binge every weekend. An example of Having only Inner Maturity is a person who stands out is a crowd, who does things regardless of what people think, who plays with children, who dances and sings in the living room, who skips or runs down the street, but who can be serious and loving and kind and full of care and empathy when it is fitting.

Nobody is ever fully mature I think, but God develops Inner Maturity, we develop Outer Maturity. I know which one I would rather have.

Learning and Practicing

Like with anything, you need to practice Godliness. This is a term I have heard a lot (maybe due to Colin Buchannon). However like with playing the piano, it won't happen unless we practice. I think it is as simple as that. However because being Godly goes against our sinful nature, God's help is a must or we will fail in even the simplest task.

However when I say practice, I mean practice, theory only takes us so far. Practice serving for example. When I was in my late teen years, I wanted to be helpful to the people I cared about. My strength (in case you didn't know) is children. A friend of mine had 3 children (now 4) and she was also helping lead a large bible study group and dealing with depression. She is an amazingly Godly person who leans more and more on Gods strength in humility. She is a joy to be around and a pleasure to learn from and to serve. Unfortunately I did not know how. I am not a person who can easily barge into a persons house and do things for them. That would be counter productive anyway, they would probably get the wrong idea or you would do something they didn't find that helpful to do.

My friend allowed me to visit her often and would thank me for playing with her children while she did jobs or went shopping. This encouraged me to practice offering help, baby sitting or washing up or folding washing or whatever. She was humble enough to accept the offers from me and about half the other single women in the church.

As a result of practicing on my friend, now I have learnt to offer specific help, not generic help. For example, "would it be helpful for me to watch your children while you go to the shops and do the little annoying jobs" rather then "if you ever need help with anything, just ask". I have also learnt to see things that I can do, like the washing up.

For people being served, look on it as an opportunity for you to practice grace and thankfulness and for them to practice serving. Encouraging them by saying thankyou is also helpful. One thing I struggled with for a long time was being brave enough to offer. I wanted to help and serve, I was just shy about offending people, or being told no. My friend would present opportunities to serve, even just running the dishwater and handing a potential server a tea towel would help.

One thing my friend began to do was to actively include people is her life, when they came over she would plunk a basket of washing in front of them and then both would fold and chat. She would take people grocery shopping and have extra hands to hold children's hands. She would encourage people to take children to the park, to read to them, to help her at kindy gym, to wash, hang out, bring in, and fold washing, wash up, dry up, chop vegetables, anything she happened to be doing when they came over, they would do too. This must have taken a huge amount of humility to admit to needing help, but she was serving and training up other people at the same time.

Humility and serving are just two areas of Godliness that need regular practice. They are also practical things so theory doesn't cut it.

Amazing Friends

God answers prayers. Before I left home, an older lady prayed for me and she prayed firstly that there would be a bible teaching church here where I could grow and mature in Christ, and secondly that I would find a friend here who would have clear and obvious joy about being with me. A lovely friend whose face would light up when she saw me, and who clearly enjoys my company. 

God answered both of these prayers with a yes and I am still very grateful. 

The lovely people at this church invite me over to their house for hours at a time to play playdough and chat. They invite me to stay with them so I can have a break from work in the holidays. They include me in their every day activities and remember me when they plan things. After staying with one friend for 4 nights during the holidays, I stripped my bed (like you do) and got in mild trouble for it since there was a possibility I might want to come back and stay one last night before starting work. I was uncertain about the likelihood of this happening but wouldn't you know, she was right. I ended up staying for another 3 nights this week.

God has been good to me, he has surrounded me with people who I can learn from, and practice Godliness on. My parents, my youth group leaders, my bible study leaders, my friends. In every place I have lived, there have been Godly mature women to learn from and to grow beside. 

Being a "school mum"

I am not actually a mum, however I do the School Mum thing. I am not a fan of it and I think I will home educate my children. A school mum's day goes like this.

Wake up in the morning, hound children through breakfast, teeth cleaning, getting dressed, brushing hair. Then miss out on breakfast yourself because of making school lunches. Then interrupt children who are playing, who have not made their beds or tidied their rooms or found their library books or anything that you would like for them to do, to hound them into the car to take them to school. School drop off, relatively straight forward unless your child chucks a wobbly, has forgotten something, or is just upset because it is Tuesday.

Comparatively peaceful couple of hours in which nobody is home (unless you have preschool children) and then off to spend 30 minutes minimum picking up children from school. They stagger the let out times to help with parking problems.

Then the afternoon dance begins, hounding kids to and from after school activities, insisting that they need to do homework and violin practice each day, cooking dinner, hounding them into then out of the bath. Hounding them through dinner, insisting that they eat rather then play. Then, because everything is running late, chasing them into bed straight after dinner, then getting down to some serious clean up of kitchen.

Yes having all children at school gives you a couple of hours peace through the day, however it does make the few hours spent with children anxiously pushing them through activities and responsibilities. You have less time to train them up how you would like them to be as adults. You hand over a significant amount of their learning and character building time to a person who must also teach 20 other children. You have less time to just be with them in a non hurried way. You have less time to teach them how to care for themselves, their belongings and other people.

School has it's place and some children thrive on school, however I would like to home educate my children if I have any, if only to keep me sane.

Being a "school mum

love languages

Caring for children becomes 10 times easier if they know we love them. This means we need to show and tell them that we love them. Unfortunately the way we speak or show love may not be the way they receive or hear love. For example if my primary love language is quality time and my dad's primary love language is gifts, he may buy me a present and I will receive it but still feel unloved even though that is his way of demonstrating love. There is a book called the 5 love languages and the writer talks about them as like foreign languages. We all receive and need all 5 but we have one particular language that we need spoken to us so we can know we are loved.

The 5 languages are 1) Physical touch, these are people who need hugs, kisses, hair brushed, massages, holding hands, sitting on laps (if they are children) anything touchy, obviously. 2) Words of affirmation, these are people who like to hear people tell them why they are liked, what it is they do well, and simply that they are lovable. 3) Quality time, these are people who want to go for walks, talk, watch movies together, spend time as the focus of your attention. 4) Acts of service, these are people who love it when people do things for them or help them to do things. 5) Gifts, to feel loved, a small token of affection, like a shell from the sea or a special pebble or a little present will tell this person they are loved.

I have now cared for 8 children over two years and with each of these children I have found it valuable to work out their love language and to learn to speak it. The first child, 4, was words of affirmation, I worked this out when he kept praising me and saying "good girl Julia". I had to learn to speak the language of words and he opened up and became a much easier and open child to live with. The next four kids were last year and I only worked out the younger 3 kids, and even one of them I had wrong until the end. The 11 yr old I accidentally found out was words of affirmation, I found this out when she improved after I began saying thank you for when she did things. The 9 yr old was harder, I thought it was acts of service initially but then I worked out that she was doing that to earn her mothers love. Her mothers was clearly acts of service. I think the child's was Quality time and physical touch. The 7yr old was quality time. He was easy to work out.

This year I was having difficulty enjoying the oldest child. I thought for a while one night and realized his primary love language was gifts. This posed a problem for me because giving children lots of presents goes against my nature. I am not a gifts person. Anyway dad suggested writing little notes and leaving them in his room. I write a whole page of them and I have been putting them in his room spontaneously and randomly. They say things like "Dear ... I love you and I love how you look after your brother and sister. Love Julia" He almost immediately became a pleasure to be around, partly my attitude changed, but mainly he knew he was loved. I also worked out the other two, they are words and quality time. All 3 of them have physical touch and words of affirmation as their second and third languages.

Working out the love languages of children makes their lives and your life MUCH easier

At the beach near our place, which I explored a bit on Sunday, there is a river that comes down to the sea. By the time I came to the mouth of the river I was pretty wet so I figured I would paddle across. In the terms of a "Seasoned Traveler" I Forded it. It came half way to my knees.

This was me "Fording" the river mouth.
It was a good morning.

The sea

Photo's taken after the Sunrise on Sunday Morning, East

East
East
West
Note the waves in the sea. This is the biggest I have seen them yet, they were actually coming in for a little roll. The flattest I have seen was like an abandoned pool. So flat, the people in it were the only things creating waves.

They tell me they get big waves during winter. I wait with eager anticipation to see these "Big Waves"

Sunrise

So on Sunday morning I got up early (about 6am) and went for a walk to the beach to watch a sunrise. As I was walking through the mostly dark, I felt a few drops of rain, this didn't last very long though, it quickly hardened to a downpour. I kept going anyway because I could. I got to the beach quite damp and in plenty of time so decided to keep warm by walking along the beach. In my part of WA, the beach faces North so I was walking East along the beach towards the potential sunrise. As I walked, I stopped occasionally to take photo's of a rather underwhelming sunrise, another unexpected bonus was the sideways rain from behind slowly soaking my back.

Here are some photo's of the East and the Sunrise, such as it was. You can see the Jetty in the distance. It is just shy of 2km.

Then I turned around to the West and observed a comparatively spectacular reverse sunrise because of the grey mush that obscured the eastern end of the beach.

It was quite a pleasant walk in spite of the weather and disappointing views, I collected shells and walked in the water without worrying too much about getting wet (not usually a concern of mine anyway).