Power of Suggestion

When you mention to a child that you have a sore stomach, they will usually either immediately or a few days later, tell you they have a sore stomach. There is some power in suggestion. This is not to say that they are lying, they may actually have, or believe they have, a sore stomach.

I do this too. My friends explain their illnesses and difficulties and I begin to sort of practice what it would be like to have these. With one friend it was mild epilepsy, not fainting or convulsing, just spacing out for a minute or two. Mum said I was starting to do it too and told me to stop. Recently it has been Anxiety (I say recently meaning last night and the night before) I have been busy lately, I have been iron deficient, and have been sleeping not brilliantly and I have been feeling anti social. Because I have been out every night for a week and except for tonight and look forward to many more busy times, I was starting to feel anxious. Now usually I take things one at a time and it doesn't worry me, also I look forward to everything that I do. However last night on the way home from bible study I was getting myself into a mild panic by thinking about how many nights in a row I had out plus full days of work. I was not thinking helpfully, it was going in circles and mounting up higher, thinking about what had already been done and what still needed doing. I made myself calm down and remember that I was getting a whole day and evening where I only needed to be out once to collect the kids.

What I found interesting was that I was only getting anxious because a friend of mine struggles with that and I was copying.

Learning and Practicing

Like with anything, you need to practice Godliness. This is a term I have heard a lot (maybe due to Colin Buchannon). However like with playing the piano, it won't happen unless we practice. I think it is as simple as that. However because being Godly goes against our sinful nature, God's help is a must or we will fail in even the simplest task.

However when I say practice, I mean practice, theory only takes us so far. Practice serving for example. When I was in my late teen years, I wanted to be helpful to the people I cared about. My strength (in case you didn't know) is children. A friend of mine had 3 children (now 4) and she was also helping lead a large bible study group and dealing with depression. She is an amazingly Godly person who leans more and more on Gods strength in humility. She is a joy to be around and a pleasure to learn from and to serve. Unfortunately I did not know how. I am not a person who can easily barge into a persons house and do things for them. That would be counter productive anyway, they would probably get the wrong idea or you would do something they didn't find that helpful to do.

My friend allowed me to visit her often and would thank me for playing with her children while she did jobs or went shopping. This encouraged me to practice offering help, baby sitting or washing up or folding washing or whatever. She was humble enough to accept the offers from me and about half the other single women in the church.

As a result of practicing on my friend, now I have learnt to offer specific help, not generic help. For example, "would it be helpful for me to watch your children while you go to the shops and do the little annoying jobs" rather then "if you ever need help with anything, just ask". I have also learnt to see things that I can do, like the washing up.

For people being served, look on it as an opportunity for you to practice grace and thankfulness and for them to practice serving. Encouraging them by saying thankyou is also helpful. One thing I struggled with for a long time was being brave enough to offer. I wanted to help and serve, I was just shy about offending people, or being told no. My friend would present opportunities to serve, even just running the dishwater and handing a potential server a tea towel would help.

One thing my friend began to do was to actively include people is her life, when they came over she would plunk a basket of washing in front of them and then both would fold and chat. She would take people grocery shopping and have extra hands to hold children's hands. She would encourage people to take children to the park, to read to them, to help her at kindy gym, to wash, hang out, bring in, and fold washing, wash up, dry up, chop vegetables, anything she happened to be doing when they came over, they would do too. This must have taken a huge amount of humility to admit to needing help, but she was serving and training up other people at the same time.

Humility and serving are just two areas of Godliness that need regular practice. They are also practical things so theory doesn't cut it.

Tiredness

Some of the funniest conversations I have had with children have been about tiredness. These tend to be appreciated more when I am not tired myself. The conversation runs like this, Me: "We have had a big morning, when we get home you are going to need to lie down because you are tired." Child: (jumping, stomping and screaming) "I AM NOT TIRED!!!!!!"

Today we went out all morning, to dancing then for a play in the pool, and came home to watch a movie and have lunch. It was quite the pleasant day, slightly fractious because we were all tired, until the movie ended. The the inter-child squawking began, the flopping on the floor began, the inability to do ANYTHING they were asked began and the tears about nothing began. Because they were going out tonight, I made them all have a lie down. One fell asleep and the other two read or played quietly in bed and I read my book.

Resting was for everyone's benefit, had they remained out of bed, I would have lost it by dinner time. Had they remained out of bed, much crying would have happened. Had they remained out of bed they would have been too tired to be any use tonight. In the words of Mark Driscol, "Sometimes they just need a nap" (this applies to grown ups too)

I also have no problem, if I am tired and they are not, putting effort into making them tired so they do rest. Or making them have a lie down regardless because otherwise I will regret something I will say or do.

Barocca does wonders in dire circumstances.