Wednesday, June 6, 2012

Thoughtless whinges

The little one I look after has a staple whinge that she has  realized gets a reaction. Not always a positive one, but occasionally when we are not twigging on, we give into what the whinge says. What she says, the moment she is asked to do something from piano practice to going to bed is, "But I didn't get any playing time" The usual response is, "well you will get some after", or "Yes you did, you had 2 hours of it" or "OK you can have 5 more minutes". All of these responses either gives her attention or even worse, what she most desires, to not do what she is asked to immediately. Today I worked out a strategy.

I feel that the problem is she is taking privileges as rights. It is her "right" to have as much playing time as she desires. It is also her "right" to sit directly in front of the heater to get dressed after a bath. This means that the automatic vocalization from her mouth the moment she sits down in front of the heater is "I didn't get any aaaaiiiiiiirrrrrrrrr"
The solution then, is to remove these privileges until she can stop whinging about them. Today, after a bath and before dinner, she was not free to play. After dinner she went to bed. I saw it coming and gave her a fighting chance by telling her not to grizzle about playing time, but she did. I told here she wouldn't get any tomorrow either. Unfortunately this is a largely empty threat since I won't be here tomorrow, however it had the desired effect and she didn't grizzle about playing time again.
When she whined about the heater, I removed that privilege too and she was not welcome to put on her pajamas's in front of a heater. She cried piteously about how cold she was and I believe her, however she stubbornly did not put on her P.J's until I put on the timer. I did not allow her to sit in front of the heater.

I am tired of whinges and grizzles desiring things she will already get, or that she already has. It is also the same at dinner. Her brother says he wants to sit next to her. The next thing out of her mouth is "But I want to sit next to ...  ) This is the same brother who just nominated her as a sitting partner. I will make her sit alone next time she has a grizzle asking for something she has.

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