Invite? or not

When you have an insanely busy friend or a distant friend, do you invite them to things? Opinion seems to be divided based on the inviter or the invitee. I am not usually an insanely busy person however I do work for such people and they tell me they would rather be invited and need to decline then be not invited based on the fact they are always busy. When you get invited somewhere it shows you are remembered and thought of and your company is desired. You then say no because you are too busy.
The inviter feels like she is always chasing and asking and being rejected. Understanding that her friend is busy helps a bit but she begins to wonder if she is being a bother to her friend. She stops inviting her and the busy person has lost another friend.
This is a one sided relationship, one is chasing and one is running away. It is tiring and jading for the inviter to always hear no from her friend.
There are times though when I have invited a friend based on the fact that I knew she wouldn't be able to come, not to say I didn't want her to (that would have been great) but because she was a shift worker and I wanted her to feel loved. Saying that, she organized a social life around her unpredictable life, continually inviting people over for dinner and movie nights and similar.
I think that inviting a busy person with the expectation of refusal but happy if they agree is the way to go. This would work best with a group invitation so you are not left in the lurch.
If you are the busy person, say yes or invite people when you have time. It can be a long lonely life without friends.

Free Entertainment

A few families in the church have taken me under their wings. This has been hugely appreciated and beneficial to my ability to enjoy my stay here. I am a social being and enjoy being near people I like. 

Today, one of these families, who I really do like and feel like I belong with, took me with them on their family outing to see if we could see whales. We went to a lookout in thee bay where whales hang out and took turns among the seven of us looking through the binoculars at the whales playing and blowing around. To see whales from a boat is $50 or more and it is chancy about whether you will see anything interesting. Then we went to look at the light house at the bit where the Indian Ocean joins the Southern Ocean. To go to the light house or even to the lookout costed money so we opted for free entertainment and looked from a distance. Then we went to a beautiful forest of tall, straight trees and had an argument about what kind of tree this particular one was. We sang songs from memory and also from ipods and tapes, we talked and we played in rock pools.

What makes these outings memorable and fun for me is the company and the laughter of the people I am with. I get the same enjoyment out of going to tourist attractions with people I like as I do washing up with people I like. Walking with people I like, driving with people I like, eating with people I like, washing up with people I like, cleaning with people I like, mucking out stables with people I like. All of these activities are preferable to me to, for example, having a meal alone, walking alone, driving long distances alone. Very occasionally, when on a car ride with people I like to be around, I wish it didn't need to end. 

Free Entertainment like going for a walk with friends or playing a game with friends is far preferable to me then a guided tour without friends.

  

Going out

On Fridays, occasionally, we go to a friends house after school for a play. It is strange that taking kids to a friends house is just as hard (but different) to having them home. When out, there is automatic entertainment (and luckily baths and dinner). However, tired over excited children, who crash like shooting stars (suddenly and spectacularly), are generally the result. This afternoon we met one of my friends at the kids school for a little picnic on the grass while the traffic cleared, and then since we all knew each other, went to another friends place for a play. Some of this was pre organised. I have 3 children and they have 2 and then there were 3 adults that increased to 5 and none of us was the man of the house. All up there were 10 people in that house for dinner. I take my hat off to the incredible lady who rolled with the waves and managed it all.

We had to leave at 6pm partly because of leaving them in peace and partly because we all needed time to bring the children back to earth. On the way home I told the kids I was impressed by their behaviour, being polite, saying thankyou, packing away toys. I also told them that teeth and bed were imminent In spite of complete exhaustion from the younger two kids, all pleaded not tired and asked to stay up. They did not argue very energetically about it though and we had no dramas.