going out

I live on a farm right now and usually this has little to do with me except for the huge quantities of mud and cows. Sometimes, when going out though, this does effect me. If the blokes are doing something blokey to the cows, like branding them, then they shut them in the narrow driveway paddock to get them into the cattle yards. This means that, because it is at the bottom of the driveway, you can't see this obstacle as you cheerfully get into your car having left sufficient time to travel and arrive at your destination.

I got into my car, knowing it took 15 minutes to get to where I was going and headed off down the hill. as I approached the bottom of the driveway, there loomed out of the fog a double gate that was closed and about 20 cows on the other side, clearly waiting for an opportunity to escape. I was now faced with a question. Do I really want to go out?(yes) Can I turn my car around anyway? (not really).

Opening the gates is easy, you just undo the chain and let gravity do its thing. Unfortunately from that point onwards, time, gravity and cows work against you. The cows know that after opening the gate, there is a fair period of time in which you must get into your car and drive through, get out and shut the gate. However quickly you do this, there is ample time for one or more cows to leave the muddy driveway and run free in the green pastures beyond.

I got out of the car and, after considering my position and planning my procedures, I went running down the hill at the cows, waving my arms and yelling. This had the desired effect of scaring the cows and they ran away some 50 metres. I ran back up the hill, opened the gate, drove through and then jumped out of the car to close the gate. Because it is a double gate, it is a much easier process with two people because you go and get one gate, then you let it go to get the other gate and it swings happily open again. The only way to get them shut is to grab one gate, push as hard as you can up the hill then run through 6 inch deep mud, (pre-churned by 200 upset cows) hoping you don't slip over, grab the other gate and get back in time to catch the first gate as it comes back past.

Success in the end, no cows escaped, and I got to my destination 15 minutes late.