When you have an insanely busy friend or a distant friend, do you invite them to things? Opinion seems to be divided based on the inviter or the invitee. I am not usually an insanely busy person however I do work for such people and they tell me they would rather be invited and need to decline then be not invited based on the fact they are always busy. When you get invited somewhere it shows you are remembered and thought of and your company is desired. You then say no because you are too busy.
The inviter feels like she is always chasing and asking and being rejected. Understanding that her friend is busy helps a bit but she begins to wonder if she is being a bother to her friend. She stops inviting her and the busy person has lost another friend.
This is a one sided relationship, one is chasing and one is running away. It is tiring and jading for the inviter to always hear no from her friend.
There are times though when I have invited a friend based on the fact that I knew she wouldn't be able to come, not to say I didn't want her to (that would have been great) but because she was a shift worker and I wanted her to feel loved. Saying that, she organized a social life around her unpredictable life, continually inviting people over for dinner and movie nights and similar.
I think that inviting a busy person with the expectation of refusal but happy if they agree is the way to go. This would work best with a group invitation so you are not left in the lurch.
If you are the busy person, say yes or invite people when you have time. It can be a long lonely life without friends.
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